Betrayed

Warning, this is an unhappy blog. It might even turn into a rant. I'm upset.

One of my animal babies has been donated to a zoo. What's more, a zoo with a overstock kill policy. That means they kill the overstock instead of releasing them into qualified private hands. They don't stop raising baby animals, because babies bring in the public and therefore the dollars. But if no other zoo wants them, they kill off the "surplus". Which means my baby's children will probably be killed, or worse, he may be. We don't sell to this zoo, or any other zoo with a kill policy.

I only work with breeders who truely care about the animals, that aren't in it for a buck. I guess this is pretty obvious since most the breeders I know not only aren't rich, but are barely making it. Animals, well maybe they are an addiction too, who knows. None of us have any vices, we can't afford them. But if we won the lotttery, it would all go on animals or animal related projects. We think we are rich already.

But I bottle fed this baby from 14 days old. Went through teething and worrying about his diet. This little guy really never had any problems, and exhibited a sense of humor by the time he was with me for a week. He loved us and people in general. I didn't want to give him up, so I was very relieved when he was bought by some nice people who lived not too far from me. I try to stay in contact with the buyers if at all possible. The breeder I work with mostly, takes a lot of time and effort to make sure her animals are placed in good homes. She has taken in enough rescues to know how tramatized an animal gets when jerked from it's home environment into a whole new world, even if that world is a comfortable one. Some never recover. She has a policy that she will always take back one of her babies.

But we were never given a chance. She found out by accident that the couple had moved and donated their pet to a zoo. Did they know about the kill policy? Probably not. But I thought I was friends with these people, I still get emails. Never did they mention they were moving or that they couldn't keep their pet anymore. I've visited their place, the husband was very attached and my baby had a lovely clean cage, tons of toys, and every sign of being loved. Two years, and never a word that he was anything but adored. I don't understand. I feel betrayed, worse, I feel the animal is betrayed. It was always understood if something happened, I would take him back. Now he's in a zoo. He's a breeder, which probably means he won't be handled much. He's used to being in a home, with dogs and a cat and humans that love him. He always remembered us when we went to visit, no matter how long in between. What is he thinking now? He got depressed before just when his people had to be out of town too long. We had to go check on him because he wasn't eating, he was fine once he knew he hadn't been abandoned. Does he think he is abandoned now?

I want to storm the zoo, which is another state completely, and demand my baby back. I want to know what was so awful that his owners gave him up without a word to any of us who raised him. I know it is niave to think this will never happen, but we do our best to keep it from happening. Especially when you think you can trust the people and that they are friends. I want to somehow let him know that this was never anything we wanted. Yes, people's lives change, often without their control, we understand that. That's why the breeder has the return policy. She doesn't want any of her animals to be surplus or need to be rescued. She doesn't do "trendy". I give my heart to every baby I raise. Some you remember for certain traits, and you miss them more when they are gone. There's a cougar somewhere down south named Camille we remember with all our hearts. My friend still gets updates on her, her picture is on the wall, it's been 7 years. I have a web friend that I love dearly, we met when she bought one of my bottle babies. One of my best friends I met because she and her husband bought a caracal kitten. This baby we remember for his sense of humor and sweet nature, sweet above and beyond the usual sweetness of his kind.

I know it isn't always going to be a happy ending. Some things can't be avoided. But this, this could have been.

Looking a cougar in the eye

I baby sat yesterday. It started out cold and got to be perfect temperture later on. Wyatt, who is pretty big for a South American cougar, usually comes running when I chirp for him. He was too lazy yesterday, warming himself up on a big wooden spool. So I went back to him, hunkered down and said hello. Wyatt is the kind of animal that if you come visiting and don't say hello to him, you feel like you have been rude.

Well, that warm weather had made him feel pretty darn good. After a few preliminary purrs and greetings, he rolled over so I could scratch his tummy. I couldn't reach it through the wire fence, so he rolled over and put his paws on the fence. One of his paws is bigger than both of my hands. I started tickling his paws, and he very happily batted at me very gently like an over grown kitten, which, basically, he is. Usually he does't go eye to eye with me, because he is too busy putting as much of his body as he can get pressed to the fence so I can rub him. But this time, he was in a mood to bond, he put his face to the fence so that we were literally nose to nose. I looked into those incredible golden eyes, and saw only intelligence and love. I wondered at being able to touch noses with an animal that great, and know he acknowledged me as one of his. It's an awesome and somewhat humbling feeling. All that purring power, letting me into his heart, wanting to communicate with me, wanting me to know he loves me. Any one who thinks animals can't communicate is just not paying attention. In moments like that, I love my life. I never get blasie about it, being part of this community of special creatures. A lot of my life was not good, but I wouldn't want to change a minute of it, so long as it lead there, to that second.

When he yawned, I could see the light making his fangs translucent, like finest ivory. Gold and ebony and ivory, he's a work of art I can never match. True, only God can make a tree, but a cougar can make you believe in God, because such perfection cannot be achieved in any man-made way.

I was baby sitting the little caracal kitten you see in the pictures in the expo shots below. He's turned gold now, and grown into a nice healthy, stocky kitten. He's going to go live with friends of mine, who already own his older sister. I'm thrilled, because I'm madly in love with this baby, and this way he stays in the family. Click on the pic if you want to see him bigger.



He's the sweetest little guy. A total tanker with his bottle, no having to coax this baby to eat! Then chin rubs, lots of purrs and wiggles. He was a bit challenging to get photos of.

And speaking of photos, I'm branching out into pet photography. A little more equipment, and I'm ready to go. Have camera, will travel, and specializing in exotic pets. Pythons to pot bellied pigs, bring 'em on! S suggested I add that to my business, since I've been doing so much of it anyway. Good idea, I keep saying I'm not a photographer, but it never works out that way. I won't do people, unless they have a pet escort, but I already have a gig for next year's Christmas card photos. And it's not like I don't have lots of models. Ironic, I've been a photographer's assistant and model so many times, and always resisted being a photographer pretty easily. All those dang f-stops. But now I can do it digitally, watch out! I always loved the developement part, but the chemicals made me sick. Life seems to be determined to make me do pet portraits for a living. Maybe I should listen, since I love working with animals so much.

I'm exhausted, time to edit some more pictures and head for bed.

The Hairball Returneth....

Well, I'm hardly posting a daily hairball. In fact, it's been so long since I've posted they have (yet again) changed the format of this blog. I'll have to spend some time checking things out, as I see you can direct post from Microword. Which I suppose would be a good idea, since I really need to do back up of some of these posts, as I'm kind of using it for notes for my book. That, and an easy way for my friends to see whats up with my wacky world of animals.

My last little kinkajou baby (see "It's a girl!") has gone to her new home. She was the funniest baby and I miss her, but I know her new family loves her. Still, she was a very difficult baby to give up.

On the really, really bad side, I lost the springhaas baby. They are difficult to raise, and I didn't manage it. It's the first baby I've lost like that, I did not take it well. These are very sweet, cute, funny little animals, and of course I had fallen madly in love with him. I did get to meet his older sister recently, pictures of her below. I hope I get a chance to raise another baby, I have a better idea now I've seen an older one. I was worried that Jack-Jack was underweight somehow, but after seeing his healthy older sister, I realize he was fine. It was just that Jou-jou, the kinkajou girl, was a total pudge. Kinkajous are stocky animals, and Jou-jou was the only baby I've had with a double chin! OK, she wasn't quite that bad, but she was a bit plump. Springhaas on the other hand are built much lighter, you can feel all their bones. The wallaby joeys feel skinny to me after raising kinkajous, but at least I know that. I hope I get the chance to raise another springhaas, I talked to the breeder about some ideas, he seemed to think they would work, so if he gives me another chance, I'll give it a try. I guess they pretty much take constant attention, I can do that, I have it set up so I can monitor the babies constantly while I work.

Hmm, clicked the wrong thing and lost most of this post. Guess it didn't need to be said. Pictures being worth yadda yadda:

Just click on the pic to bring it up full sized.